So here's the truth from my red lips
At first, there was something about you that caught my attention. I was the new person in the room, and yet it took one look for me to start wondering about you. When you came to introduce yourself, I thought you were a jerk - you already knew my name, and left me with a smirk. Little did I know, I would find myself wanting to know more about you, asking mutual friends what they knew about you... they didn't know much, other than having a few things in common with you. I didn't want to show my interest, so I acted like a jerk back to you, not impressed every time you would strike up a conversation. In the beginning, you would say random things out of the blue, from complimenting what I wore, to knowing about the logo on my clothes; you would talk about anything to get a conversation going. There was one conversation that made me wonder if you were also interested in me, where you pointed out one of my miniature flaws - I'm usually the one who points out that flaw to people. You were paying attention, and I liked that. Going back and forth whether to ask you out, and I eventually messaged you for coffee - late at night, I saw the response that you said yes! The day we went out, you seemed nervous, and invited a friend along for coffee (not exactly what I had in mind). The conversation was awkward, mostly because you and your friend rambled about the weather. When the coffee was over, you were caught off guard when we were saying 'goodbye,' going in for a handshake; I came back with a fist pound. The second time, however, was better, where we went for coffee, just you and I. We had a solid conversation, getting to know each other and learning about our pasts. That experience was pleasant, even if it lasted only an hour. I was starting to see some signs...
Not that I would have considered us close at this point, but I found myself lost in thoughts about you - my dreams were another story. I may have acted shy, asking you to eat out, mostly because you would have been the first person I asked out, in-person. You seemed reluctant at first, always having some plan every time I had the courage to say those words aloud. But one day, you wanted to join me for lunch. Without a thought, I mentioned that I would be bringing a friend along - your face went from excited to disappointed within a second. We kept the conversation general, where I tried my best to include everyone in the discussion, which wasn't much of a success. When we left the restaurant, you needed your coffee fix, leaving soon as possible; I felt bad, and wanted to make it up to you. As time gone by, you would still talk to me, even if the conversations would be on the same topics (it felt like you just needed any excuse to talk to me). One conversation we shared was brought up from another one, going from them to me the moment they finished answering your question - impressive memory you've got, I only recall telling you that detail months ago. When we finally got to have our lunch outing, you wanted to make a bet through a game to determine who would pay; the next lunch would be on you. During that lunch, we got to into your dreams and aspirations, and I adored how much you lit up talking about your passion. For some reason, I was fond about the way you cleaned your chopsticks while you continued to talk - you have some cute mannerisms. Although I ended up paying for lunch (the restaurant was cash only), it meant that we would have another time to eat out. Again, it would have been months before the next outing, turning from lunch to breakfast, and resulting with dinner plans. This dinner was short, and didn't have much to talk about, mostly just updating each other with our lives. You drove me back to my car, having silence as our company for the trip - it was very comforting, knowing that we didn't have to say anything at all. We didn't have a hand shake nor a fist pound, just a simple 'goodbye.' That would have been the last time that we would go out.
You are in love, alright - but it's with someone else. When you agreed for coffee, you told me that you were seeing someone, which caught me off guard. I mean, we could be friends, which wouldn't have been so bad... but I was falling for you. My friends told me to move on, but I couldn't help myself. And those times when I was mad at you? I thought I was helping myself to get over you, but I found myself wishing you would talk to me. No matter what I did, I somehow found a way back to you - I am a complicated person. When I ignored you, you tried to talk to me every time we would see each other; I left you in silence. Then the roles were reversed, but I knew what was going on: we wanted to see who could care less. Perhaps I was tired of trying to be something to you, but I couldn't stand contacting you, only to be left with no response. Those 'mad sessions' would last a week, and no matter what happened, I would always feel a connection every time our eyes met - some of those stares were everything to me. I can't explain it, but I just felt a connection every time we blankly stared at each other, even for a second. However, things don't always go as expected. I have come to terms that everything I thought was a fantasy I am wishing to come true. We may have a lot in common, but we are not even friends. If anything, you are a person that I once adored.
Can you believe it thought? All this time, I said that I would wait for you. It's been a year that I have admired you, and never was there a dull moment. There would be times that were awkward, but that didn't matter much to me. If there is one dream that I am able to share, it would be this: we are in a hotel room, and your friend calls you to join him on the balcony. Taking a seat, you signal me to sit on your lap. Needing to confirm, your friend asks the question, "Are you two a thing?" We stare at each other, and you respond in the softest voice, "yeah." You made me feel like I was the only one, and I can't thank you enough for that giving me that feeling. We were never together, but this experience has showed me that I have the potential to love someone so much, that I am willing to do anything for them. While you may be the ideal person in my mind, there is no doubt that you will make your significant other feel truly special, giving them more beyond their expectations. For what it's worth, you will always be my favourite guilty pleasure.
Sincerely,
The Romantic
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